1) Writers got massive heads because they are jam-packed with piles of shit.
2) They also walk totally idiotic as their heads tend to be stuck between them butt cheeks.
3) On closer examination you'll find their arseholes ludicrously enlarged to accommodate those shit-heads.
4) Due to the aforementioned it comes as no surprise that a writer's breath reeks of ca-ca.
5) Don't bother trying to understand what they're saying. It's impossible because of all those turds clogging their airwaves.
6) Writers usually look totally crap so they're pretty much indistinguishable from actual stool.
7) If you're unsure about whether you're dealing with one of them poopers, try flushing them down the toilet. A writer should go down easy, especially if you get them into the fecal position.
8) Don't be fooled by some real hard ones, though. It might take a couple of flushes and some serious toilet brush action. Keep poking that piece of shit until it's mush!
9) No need to feel guilty because you've done a marvelous service to society by ridding it of one more of those narcissistic and worthless shit-heads.
10) Now go out there and do some more cleansing so we don't have to put up with so much literary diarrhea!
Written by Dom Ritter & T. Lewis